I am deep in thought…
Bare with me… my mind is as jumbled up as this post is.
I’m in this state of reconsidering the path that I have chosen since who knows when, but am still not walking on that particular path.
It has always been hospital pharmacy that I wanted, always have and always will be. When I say reconsidering the path, I’m not saying I’m changing what I wanted, just having thoughts of entering it in a different way.
What have attracted me to the hospital sector are ……….. Hack, I’m not gonna tell. Some losers might just pinch what is my own very personal reason and make it theirs during interviews. The reasons are totally heartwarming, breathtaking and absolutely what the interviewers want to hear when they ask about the personal side of things. Ha… like I would let people have it easy. But if there’s really someone out there who would do such a thing, that person is such a sad case. What the interviewers want to hear is about you, you and YOU. Not some random people’s blog. Hello?
Ok, back to the topic. So, I’m very sure the hospital is for me, and will probably want to spend my whole career life there, unless I’m married to a King and be made a Queen. It would then be inappropriate for a Queen to be in the hospital 24/7, wouldn’t it? A Queen should be heading to some deprived places and hands out monetary contributions. Wow… imagine a Queen with a pharmacist qualification, that gonna be soooo cool. She can give out healthcare services together with the monetary stuff. Out of topic… I know hahaha.
Ok, back to the topic and staying in the topic. I’m willing to devote myself to the hospital sector. That’s one major point there. So what come naturally is me getting a hospital placement in summer and subsequently a hospital pre-reg after, right? But that’s something there. If I were to get myself a hospital placement again this summer, and a hospital pre-reg thereafter, I would never have experience what community is like, wouldn’t I? I have only been in the community for, what, 1 day? And that was last year as arrange by the univ as part of a module. More to come this year, but that’s another story. I have been in hospital for, what, two summers, and a few days as arranged by the univ as part of a module. So, I have hospital experiences although they are of politically different experiences, but they are of the same ultimate aim-the care of the people. The people-people factor. Just different in policy. Can’t really do anything about policy, can we?
Imagine this. There’s something that you want and you are sure, and you can get into it anytime you want, provided you work for it. Would you get into it the first chance you landed on it, or would you wait? Most people will say “GET IT!!!”, or at least I think most people will. But think, would not be diverse in experiences more appealing? This is what has gotten me thinking. Few years in community, then hospital for lifelong.
An opportunity has opened up for me to diverse my experience, put that word in quotes if you want. Well, if you are in this field, you would know which “opportunity” I’m talking about. Let’s call this company H. (Not acronymising from the top of the alphabet list, nor from the bottom haha. Middle is the way to go.)
Let’s say I want to diverse my experience in this field.
Being the giant around here, H offers hell loads of places. But all offers are based on, what, online application? How they choose, I don’t know. Well, I do know. Based on the essay questions, right? Then hundreds and hundreds of application are processed and offers handed out. How sure are they that they are employing the right people? Well, you know, some people have their essays written by somebody else. So, the HR people do not really know the people they are employing. Other smaller companies also select people based on the essays, but they do interviews after short listing people.
So, by accepting H’s offer, I would not be able to tell how good I really am. Well, I can accept H, and still go for other interviews. Whether if I’m offered another placement or not, doesn’t matter, as I am safe having H as back up, and I have the kick of knowing that I’m employable (=. Yea, if I want to subject myself to more work. If I were to take up H as my one and only, I’m “safe” for the 2 years after graduation (provided I perform well during the placement, in which I definitely would) as I would be bonded to the company, so means I’ll automatically have an employer to get me my work permit and I could put my mind at rest as of now because I could start booking my flights home for the summer and other potential exotic beach holidays, or extreme sport endeavors. And I don’t have to arrange for my staying in early September here for any potential interviews, which brings me to another point.
Rough calculation says I’ll end my placement with H mid August. If I take up H as my one and only, I do not have to plan for my September interviews. September is the month for pre-reg interviews for most companies, unless you are talking about clearance. But clearance is the slot where bad ones step up and be really good to secure themselves their places. When people finally put effort in, they can be really really really good. Tough fight then. So, let’s say I take up H and not care about other companies, I could enjoy at least 7 weeks at home in MALAYSIA where THE FOOD HAVEN is, knowing that I’m, well, safe. If I do not make H as my one and only, I have to arrange to come back in early September (after only going back home for less than 4 weeks )= ) where I would need to find place to stay as I’m still staying in halls. And no, I do not have any relatives or friends that could take me in for that period of time. I would then have to face interviews, and offers, and rejections. I know I’m good, but there are people out there who are better. I can’t put off the worries of me not being able to get a place. So, now we are talking definitive and speculative. H=definitive, others(both community and hospital)=speculative. Talk about risk management lolx.
That is, if what I heard of H is true. If H do not automatically give out pre-reg places to students who did 3rd year summer placements with them, and do not bond pre-regs, tell me NOW, whoever is out there, and this post can deem void.
And being bonded. What if I do not like the company after doing my placement with them? By mid of August, I’ll have one big major problem to arrange for things already. I heard the company is more sales oriented, like much much more sales oriented than every other ones, where patient care should be first. I do not like that, but I do not know how true it is. Bonded with a company that I do not like with a policy that I do not like, I’ll suffer, and I’ll probably kill myself. Haha. Ok, maybe not. That company is not worth it. Nothing is worth more than my own life anyway.
So, what is it then?
Hospital all the way, or diversify my experience first?
H definitely, or eyeing other companies too?
Money has never come into the equation. If it had, it would have been hospital first as their pre-reg pay higher, then community later, wouldn’t it? Yes, money has never been in my equation, probably because I’m still naïve and heavily protected.
I feel so entangled and need to be detangled. I need people to talk to, and people to talk to me.
*deep breath*
