What if...

…I had chosen another university?

This question is in my head today. Yes, the useless ‘what if’s type of questions. Whenever I have these sorts of questions in my head, I would stop myself from thinking further. Because…

…‘what if’ would not bring me to where I want to be! I’m better off doing and thinking something more useful i.e. studying for the microbiology test which is in two weeks time! I am at where I am now, so what’s the point of thinking of what could have been if XXXXX instead of XXXXX… right?

But, I let myself think about this question just now. Well, it’s the end of the week (kinda anyway. I have no more lab for the week, what left are lectures, 4 full hours of them, in one go. How relaxing is this?). So, I let myself think about it for a while.

Why am I in this university instead of another university, like in a university closer to home, or rather, at home? I would still get this question from friends on msn although I am already here for my 2^nd year: ‘Why do you go overseas to study?’ and the follow up question would be: ‘Didn’t you think of your parents’ financial burden?’

How am I supposed to answer those questions? I could only type back “haha..”

“What if I went for Form 6 and not A-levels?” I would have a STPM cert instead of A-levels cert.

“What if I did not apply for Malaysian Matriculations?” I would be offered a place in Form 6.

“What if I did not turn down the Matriculations offer?” I would have stayed in Sabah for quite some time.

“What if I did not see the advertisement in the newspaper about the scholarship offered by Sedaya?” I would have stepped foot in Sabah and tried snorkeling

Useless thoughts. Told ya ‘what if’ questions are useless and are a waste of time. But if any of those ‘what if’s is not a ‘what if’, I could be on a totally different path now. Why think of what path I could be on? I have a test in two week time!! Study, don’t dwell on what could have been!!

Anyhow, I let myself waste more time on recalculating how much I would have used for my whole time here, then searched on the tuition fees of other university (Not that I didn’t do all these calculations few years back, I’m just doing them all over again. So, yea, I did think of my parents’ financial burden). I can’t compare my fees with other UK universities’ fees. I would not even be here if my fees are of the ‘same level’ as others. With universities back home.. my fees including living expenses now is 442% more if I were to be in local university and RM 100,000 more if I were to go private, and few thousands less if I were to go twinning. You get what I am trying to say? Don’t bother if you don’t. Just some useless figures.

See, I waste my time on unproductive stuff again. Microbiology is in two weeks, babe!! Presentations in two weeks too!!

Why are there three photos of some writings on papers? Does this question cross your head while you are reading? They are completely unrelated to the post content, don’t they? I’ll tell you what these photos are. These photos show Felicia’s handwriting, LaiYee’s handwriting and my handwriting. I was in lectures today sitting in between them. Look at their handwritings!!

一粒一粒地, 端端正正，整整齐齐，漂漂亮亮(in short，they are neat)

while mine is….

撩撩草草， 随随便便， 乱七八糟(in short, so not neat!)

Then a few seats away was Deborah, also with one of those neat handwritings! I felt so out of place.

Handwriting can tell a personality. So, do you understand me more now that I have published my handwriting?

Huahahahahaha...

I'm being totally random...

**Halloween!! Going out later!**

PhotoHunt: Pink

I discovered an interesting... should I call it a project? I'll just call it a project.

So, i discovered an interesting project when I was at eHon's blog. It's call PhotoHunt. Everyweek, there'll be a theme and we have to post a picture or pictures according to the theme. I think it's FUN~~.


And so I joined.


Here, my first PhotoHunt picture.

The theme for this week is PINK (duh~ it's on my post title.)

Pink crystal

This is a necklace. It has three crystals on it and one of them is pink.

Speaking of being practical…

…a fire drill at the wee hours
and when the thermometer shows -4˚C
is absolutely, totally and puuuurfectly practical,
but it’s
freaking-ly
not fun!!

How happy am I?

How happy are you?

My Spanish teacher gave us a website. It helps us to measure our level of happiness. Click heRe if you are interested in finding out how happy you are.

Anyway, I’m proud to say…

… and I find it very true.

I lov~ my life, and there’s no reason not to. Seriously serious, I have a loving family, I have an amazing lover, and I have lovely friends. I’m in good health, I’m in good financial status (H@ck, my dad gave me half of the family meager heirloom to be here) and I have kinda a good brain. Now you tell me, is there a reason for me to whine about my life? Besides not having a pretty enough face that would make other people to kill for and not having an attractive enough body shape to make other girls green in the face, I seriously have everything that money can’t buy.

But my life isn’t that complete yet. I still have dreams, I still have goals. I have plenty of room to grow in this life; I do not have to afraid of not having the chance to show the world what I am capable of. Life is full of doors. One door closes, plenty other doors remain open for me. Life is just too unpredictable for me to stay inflexible. Planner in nature is good, dead square headed is no good. As far as I know, my head is not square and it’s not dead.

*Gosh.. I’m such a good self-motivator.*

Like a tiny flower, I receive my energy from the sun and the rain. Challenges only give me more opportunities to grow (I written these few phrases before in this blog, but only some smart enough people have the smart enough brain to read it =P). I do not need big things to give me the big push. Small things are enough to give me the big boom. Words from people that I do not really know in the real world, words from people that I know in the real world, source of motivation and inspiration. However, biggest motivation comes from me, within myself. If I weren’t such a highly motivated person, those words would be useless. Okay, I’m being thick-skinned here. Hahaha. Jean, highly motivated person. Bluuek~~~ Self praising. Tak tau malu.

So, people, how are you?

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P/s:

Hey, people!

My first injury from Ju-jitsu!!

Not bruises from punches, or being thrown off the ground, but a cut by somebody’s nail. Haaa…

But if you think that having strong nails can help you defend yourself in a fight, no no…. Because it won't immobilise the person who pick up the fight on you. Seriously, scratching someone in a fight does not stop him from punching you.

Ju-jitsu really made my taekwondo of 4 years during secondary school like child play, cox Ju-jitsu is all about immobilizing your opponent on the floor and thus stop the fight, while taekwondo is about punching and kicking only. But, again, maybe it’s because I wasn’t training right last time. Hey, I am not demeaning anything here. All self-protection forms are good.

However, with the way that I am training now, it would be ages before I can really protect myself. Why? Because when the instructor throw punches at me and I’m suppose to block those punches and take him down, I seriously only know how to duck down instead of swiping him off his feet. But, again, best self-protection is staying out of any situation that would make you fight. When I duck down, and he still in a daze trying to figure out why his punch misses me, I can run. Muahahahahaha. Just joking.

Campus Update and Malaysian ‘n’ Singaporean Society Gathering …

… and many other things.

(this is one of those posts which have tonnes of photos and tonnes of words, but mean nothing except for the account of what I had been doin’)

Campus update


Remember my post on the new Murray Library? This, people, is the part 2 of it.

The lectures were cancelled and so I spent the free period in the library. By the way, this was the first of the cancelled lecture, and not the second of the cancelled lecture which I used it to do a post. Ok, anyway, that was the first time I went to the computer section of the library. I then discovered something big.. something real big…


I freaking-ly had to slot my student ID card in to use the computers!!!

Ok, I’m a sua pa lau, or sua ku, or jakun or however you call those people. I was ecstatic, like a small girl receiving her first doll house, or in the case of sua ku-ness, first time entering a lift. I kept saying ‘cool…cool…cool..coooool’ and I didn’t bother to keep my voice to myself. I think Deborah, Kellie and Felicia were putting up the ‘I don know this gal’ face. Hahaha.

So, these new computers will store the data on your ID card. The next time when you use another unit of computer, you slot your ID card in and the computer will load your desktop exactly how you left it the previous time, provided it is within a two week time period. Cool? Coooool~~~

Besides the computers, the new settees, the library also has a few new partitions.


The Quiet Zone..


… and the Study Skill Zone, which I seriously have no idea what purpose does it serve.

Then there is this new cafeteria in the building..


…which sells mostly FairTrade products.

Oh, FairTrade products are good, it means someone from this world is receiving fair treatment. Great, world peace. Good news. Purse wise ………

Even the toilets are renovated!


New cubicles, new hand dryer which looks like the mouth of a monster opening up wide waiting to munch off your hands, new sinks and new toilet roll dispenser or however you call it. Nah, actually those toilet roll dispensers were replaced a few weeks before summer break. Still, they are considered as one of the ‘some new things’.

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Other then the library, our labs are also new!!!! New new new!!!

The new newer newest lab is the dispensing lab.


..shhh.. I curi-curi snapped this picture. That’s my right arm you see.

Our dispensing computers are not desktops anymore!! They are laptops!!! Brand new laptops with Intel Core Duo processors!! Ok, not that new of a processor, but still. And my group was the first group to attend that lab. So yeah, first blood, people! And new tempered glass personal lockers! Even the genuine drugs on the shelves are new! Waaaa~~~!!!

Then for the pharmaceutical chemistry lab, although it is not a new room, but there is quite some new equipments inside, namely the new spectrophotometerSSS. Not singular, but plural!! So, there are 3 generations of spectrophotometers in that lab now.

I’m like a little girl in a new wonderland.



There’s something new in the Halls too. They replaced the curtains in the kitchen.

The rooms are still the same, though. Then there are 6 new washing machines and 6 new dryers in the laundry room!!!

I would not be showing photo of the new laundry room as they are only white square machines which rotate and rotate and rotate your clothes, nothing much to see, but I want to show the following…


… an excerpt from somewhere.

Ok, so the new machines use 30% less energy and water, but they use up more money!! £1.50 or £1.70 depending on the type of cycle for a wash instead of the old £1.20. For the dryer, £1.00 instead of the old £0.50. Boohooo~~~~

Haa.. They increased the tuition fees this year, but luckily I’m not affected so I’m still paying the old fees. I think the increase in accommodation wouldn’t be too far off, which would definitely affect me. Dammmn, my bank account would be vomiting blood. Or rather, my dad’s bank account would be vomiting blood. Hmmm… wrong wrong. My dad’s bank account is vomiting blood and would be vomiting more blood. Yea, this sentence sounds more accurate.

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Malaysian and Singaporean Society Gathering 2007/2008


Yup, a gathering. Photo first!!!

Took a photo with Felicia in front of the mirror in the ladies. Can’t help it =P

With Vita, Chloe, and KahHuey.

With Connie, my senior whom I only get to know when doing my placement in Kuching.

The girls!! Oppss.. some faces hidden.

Vita and Lily. Lily won the Best Dressed title for that night!

Alison, me, Adrian, Deborah, Lily, Vita. I seriously have no idea on why my hand and Alison's hand was twisted that way.

Jeffrey and Vincent.

‘Martina’ with the girls. Sorry I had to blur the face of Martin, to protect his dignity (Muahaha). They were having this game which required guys to be dressed up as girls. It was a huge sacrifice there. Good job, brother!

The group photo. These are only some of the 2nd year Malaysian pharmacy students. You seriously have no idea how big the Malaysian community is here.

I just have to put this pic up..b’ cos it showed how fair I am. Hiak hiak hiak~~~~~ That’s Jay, by the way.

I had to tomato-ed the face of some of the guys because the colour of their face just wouldn’t justify their level of soberness. They still knew who I was, who themselves were and where they were, but they were seriously red, which looked absolutely hideous.

The gathering was held at Crowtree Leisure Centre function room and the dress code was Black and White. Other than those, I couldn’t write anything more on the gathering because I wasn’t there. Haha, how could I be not there when I have all these pictures? Well, if you notice, these are all pictures of the very end of the gathering. I went missing for the whole night, because I went to watch….


My first ever live musical at Sunderland Empire Theatre!! Carmen, it is.

The theatre was just across the street from the function room. Two events, one body. I was seriously torn between the two. But then the musical won because I had never been to a live musical before, and the free tickets were hard to come by. Hehe. So, I went to the gathering first, left the gathering for the musical and went straight back to the gathering after that. Luckily the venues aren’t far from each other.

The curtains still down.

So, the musical was about a Gypsy girl named Carmen which had a very complicated love life, and her life ended tragically. People, don’t ever play with love. The play was sung in French with a small screen above the stage with English subtitles. The stage was quite small, so it gave me a feeling of everything was so cramped together, so messy. However, it was a wonderful experience. Madama Butterfly soon? =P

Didn’t I say before that the night just won’t end without more camwhoring?

Nyahahahahaha.

Hmmm… I guess I’ll leave the “many other things” to next time. This post has gotten way tooooo long.

Oh, one more photo that I seriously must must post.

People, these are the gals of Flat 39.

酷爆了 leh!

(Bear said we looked like all girl mafia)

I am now in Murray Library…

… because the lecturer could not log into the computer, and thus no slides for the lectures. No slides, no teaching.

I’m actually pissed. I came to the lecture hall expecting a full 4 hour session of lectures, and now this. Most people are happy when lectures are cancelled. I’m not. I would be if the lectures were all cancelled and I’m free for the rest of the day. But this is not. Two hours of lectures are cancelled. Still have two more hours to go. Lectures from 9 to 11 are cancelled. Lectures from 11 to 1 are not cancelled. Bluuahh~~~

Although my room is just 5 mins walk away, it’s still not fun walking to and forth many times in this temperature, not forgetting to mention it’s wet and gloomy. Where is the sun?

Two weeks already. Last week, same time same day same problem. And it’s the same lecturer. I think the computer does not like him. Lectures on Law and Regulations. Ahahaha.

Crap… Why doesn’t the computer like him?

10.20am.. 40 mins to the next lecture. Tata~~

I do not like having doubts...

...and yet life is created with them.

The ±0.05ml reading of the burette, the ±0.05cm of the ruler, the ±0.05g of the balance, these are all uncertainties.

Standing on a crossroad without a map, standing in front of the lift of a 15 storey high building without a directory, standing in the middle of a jungle without a compass and cut of by a running river, I’m lost.

This feeling of not knowing and desperate for an answer is simply energy draining. It makes my brain goes into overdrive, thinking and thinking of what would be and what wouldn’t be, which is totally useless and unnecessary, and which is totally a waste of energy. I want my life to be certain. I want to know where I am heading, and to be sure of where I am heading.

I had a plan. Some sort of a 5 year plan. Or rather, a 7 year plan. But it seems that it would not work anymore. The announcement of the new policy of “protecting our own people” makes me thinking, is “kulitfication” really such a big thing even in this part of the earth? It seems like it now.

Things just would not be equal, just would not be fair. Not here, not there, not anywhere. The scale would always be lopsided.

But does it really matter, when I have learnt how to be contented even thought I know I can have more, much much more? Does it really matter, when I know I have many many other things to sing about?

I have an aim, I know what I want, and I have mastered the skill of being contented. Now the huge question mark is drawn over the word “PROCESS”.

Turning left, right or going straight. Pushing one of the 15 buttons, excluding the ‘close’ and ‘open’ buttons as well as the emergency button. Following the flow of the river. Easy, aren’t they? I just have to know why I am there, and I can find my way.

The ±0.05 uncertainty? Simple. Get a more sophisticated equipment and the percentage of the uncertainty is highly reduced.

So yea..

Dear Jean,

You have what it takes to get there, you really do. The unknown? They are just there to make your life more interesting, babe! Your sky will always be clear, as long as you have that drive.

Luv~ ya!

Sincerely,

Jean

Sixteen days ago…

… I went to the airport.

Not to send anyone, but myself who was leaving for UK returning to my life as a Year 2 MPharm student. The ‘Goodbye-s’ weren’t as bad as the first time, but I still did cry. I asked nobody to send me, only my family, Jimmy and Allen whom I met at a private blogger meet few months ago were there. Jimmy and Allen were there not because of me, but for another blogger meet which took place at the airport. So, they just conveniently stayed back a while after the function ended to see me.

Two hours after reaching KIA, I was on MH 2 to KL. Four hours after reaching KLIA, I was on an approximately 14 hour flight to Heathrow London. I remember exactly one year ago, I was on the plane by myself, no one to talk to about my fears of going to a place which was totally alien to me. The only comfort I had that time was playing with a baby boy next to me. The mommy wasn’t that chatty, probably because that was her first time on a long flight too. Her husband besides her had received a scholarship from the Malaysia government to further his study in Newcastle. Travelling that far with a nearly 2 year old baby is not an easy task.

Forward back to this year, I was on the flight with Cathy and LiWan, both proven to be excellent travelling companions…

(I am distracted. Some dogs are fighting outside… now, where was I?.. oh yes..)

… We talked about dreams, goals, expectations, some crap too. When we weren’t talking, we occupied ourselves with the on flight entertainment. This time, I watched House, but I didn’t finish the whole 10 episodes on board. My last returning flight, I watched Grey’s Anatomy and I finished all the 10 episodes on board. Hah. It’s not that House was not interesting as Grey’s, it was 200% more appealing, in fact, it’s just that I couldn’t keep my eyes open. When I wanted to sleep, Gwen Stefani’s Yummy and Now That You Got It were my lullabies. I don’t know why, but I slept in comfort with those two songs playing over and over again. And you know what the best thing with those two songs was to me? They won’t keep playing in my head when I’m not listening to them. You know how irritating it can be when some songs would just stick to your head and won’t go away? They are catchy tunes, but they won’t stick. Great! And they are still my lullabies till now.

Reaching Heathrow, hauling three 9kg backpacks each*gasp* (mine with Bear Junior tucked in it =P) from Terminal 4 to Terminal 1 was tiring. Orang miskin bah, some things had to be brought back to Malaysia then be brought back to UK again. No moola to buy two sets. HiakHiakHiak~~~ It was a good thing that we had checked in our luggage till our final destination, Newcastle that is. Or else… *cut throat*. Our backpacks were already on that scale, so imagine how much heavier the luggage for us would be.

The skies of London and Newcastle were very very different. London’s was bright and sunny and warm. Then I could see the transition from bright sunny and warm to gloomy cloudy and chilly. Seriously serious, it’s like two different worlds in just that short 45 minutes flight from London to Newcastle. But it’s not bad with the fact that I do not need any more blotting paper here.

Fast forward to a few days later, skipping all the details on unpacking, tidying, shopping*beam*, getting our things back from the storage company (By the way, Low Fell Removals really offered excellent customer service *applause*) etc trivia matters which would bore all readers, as if I have more than one hand full, to death. Less words, more photos now.

Formal classes start this week.

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Four months ago when most students here had finished their studies, Murray Library underwent some major renovation. Although the renovation is still going on today, which just left the cafeteria section still not done, the whole library had a brand new look. More colours, more spacious and much much more modern looking, which is just totally amazing!!

Here are some pictures…

Aren’t those seats just cute??!!

Everything is new new new!

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Then there was this Societies and Clubs Fayre, held at Crowtree Leisure Centre.

People, people, and more people.

I’ll let you guess what society this is.

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Mid Autumn Festival.

The gals…

…vs…

The guys

Sad, isn’t it?

and, sigh~~~ I am so minuscule even among the gals.

Chloe is really just bubbly, isn’t she?

This is the couple LaiYee and CCK. CCK just came this year to do Finance. He was here for Christmas last year. LaiYee is my coursemate. Aren’t they just sweet?

The day just won’t end without some photo of myself.

That’s Jeff’s cool cap..

..and that’ s me in my room=P People said this photo is nice when I used it as my msn display picture. Lalalala~~~*big grin*

Yes, I am that self obsess.

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Then there was Jeff’s birthday on Thursday.



One gal was just too enthusiastic to help him to give out the cake. Then…

…PHIAK~~~…

The aftermath…

No price in guessing right what happened.

He is just one lucky guy…

There, my first week of beginning of proper classes.